Monday, November 19, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Here's a little supplemental reading:
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
If only you could see what I've seen through YOUR eyes:
Friday, July 13, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Too sweet. While she'll doubtlessly be in some sort of "protective custody" that will keep her from being the furburglar of some 300lb. shank-wielding dyke, I still couldn't be happier that she was unsuccesful in buying her way out of the sentence, or getting a pardon from Governor Schwarzeneggar.
But, the question: will this be turned into some Lifetime-type made-for-TV movie highlighting her "courage" and character? Or perhaps she'll finagle some manner of reality TV series out of the experience, a la "The Simple Life" (after all, how hard would it be to get Lindsay Lohan to join her behind bars for a few months...she's probably only one unpaid parking away, after all)?
Ideally, her ordeal will be turned into a hard R-rated, Jess Franco/Jack Hill-type "Women in Prison" movie, starring Paris Hilton as herself. Get that "Hostel" guy to direct, sign on Julie Strain (as The Warden), Darian Caine, and Jenny McCarthy, and we're talking boffo box-office smash!!!
Friday, May 04, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
With a limited understanding of English and a sense of humor that transcends linguistic barriers, Austria’s Pungent Stench pushed the limits of the already-obscene death metal vernacular. With early song titles like “Blood, Pus, and Gastric Juices” and “For God Your Soul, For Me Your Flesh”, these guys made it apparent that they were eagerly abandoning any chance of being taken seriously as artists.
This is Pungent Stench’s second album, and arguably their best. The cover “art” is the most blasphemous, obscene, horrendous shit upon which I’ve ever had the misfortune to have laid eyes, and fits perfectly with the diseased, pus-caked music within. If you can understand the lyrics at all (and trust me, the printed lyrics on the inlay card won’t help, as they are printed in an unintelligible, Beavis-esque scrawl) you will be instantly revolted. Bottom line: you would have to be insane to want to hear this abrasive, disgusting, offensive shit.
But all that aside, Pungent Stench were furious riff-mongers, churning out dozens of fantastic Sabbath-y riffs on this album. And the songs, by grindcore standards, are stellar, often containing furious hooks that you might find yourself humming hours later. The lyrics are fucking hilarious, exploring such themes as cannibalism, S&M, mother murder, and mummification with an infectious innocence that only inexperienced ESL-speakers could unearth in the tired, overused English language.
Her asshole was a fouling pit, what a hit!:
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Second comp. Much like the previous one, except it features chicks singing in Spanish and/or Portugese. It's really a shame that singing in English is an implicit prerequisite for success in in America's music biz; really, does "Hollaback Girl" or "My Humps" make any more sense than "Ante Tus Ojos"? But I shouldn't complain, since the American music industry would undoubtedly produce just as much crap in Spanish as it currently does in English if that were the case. Such a musical version of NAFTA would just be another way to exploit Spanish-speaking cultures.
Funny thing, the words "Latina Ass" actually served as one of the nails in the coffin of my marriage. As anyone who uses Limewire knows, past searches are stored and matched with new searches typed in. Kind of a convenient "Quick Search" option. For example, if you have a history of searching for "Yul Brynner" and you type "Yu" into the search engine, "Yul Brynner" will pop up, even if you intend to search for "Yuletide Carols".
Well, suffice it to say, I WASN'T spending hours on the computer searching for Yul Brynner or Yuletide Carols. One night my wife figured out how to work Limewire, and decided to search for some Liz Phair songs. As soon as she typed in the letter "L", a whole list of filth sprang up, starting with "Latina Ass" and ending with "Lesbians, Strapon". She spent the rest of the evening in this manner, making a systematic, alphabetical catalogue of reasons to be disgusted by me. That was NOT a fun weekend.
Here's the first of a couple of comps I'm throwing out there while I try to figure out whether or not these tapes are too far gone to be worth ripping...this Hagar, Schon, Aaronson, & Schrieve Through The Fire tape sounds like it's being played through cotton candy-stuffed speakers.
But anyway, as the title implies, here's a mix of songs featuring chicks singing in French. Funny thing is, I dislike just about everything French. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those Bill O'Reilly "Freedom Fries" douchebags, but I hate French art, cuisine, wine, and movies to no end. I actually walked out on "Rules of the Game" at my local art theatre because it was so gawd-awful boring.
In spite of this, I find French to be the greatest language for singing by far, and some of the best music ever has been sung in French. The songs on this comp range from the 14th-Century (Guillaume da Machaut) up to 2006 (The Prototypes), with a concentration on the 1960's ye-ye pop movement.
Friday, February 16, 2007
From East Coast milquetoast to Eastwood Badass, he's played it all. Personally, I admire him for the suit he wore in "Used Cars", but if you need more evidence that he is the greatest actor of our generation, consider:
-Escape from LA
-Big Trouble in Little China
-Escape from New York
If the game happens to be rained-out some saturday afternoon, it's likely that some Kurt Russell movie will be shown instead. That kinda makes Kurt your loser buddy that'll come over and get drunk with you when all other options have been exhausted. Even in my lowest, drunkest moments, I've always been able to count on the fact that somewhere, on some channel, "Stargate" will likely be playing.
More music coming soon...
Friday, February 02, 2007
Weight Loss from a Biblical perspective! The Ten Commandments of Dieting! Actually, if you take all the god crap out of this, it's really not bad dieting advice: eat breakfast, drink plenty of water, get lots of fiber, etc. However, Dobson and his guests are without a doubt the most teeth-grindingly annoying, folksy crackers this side of Colorado Springs. They politely chuckle as they rib one another about whose mom made the best fried chicken, those extra five pounds they gained over Thanksgiving, etc. It's basically a microcosm of Dobson's ideal vision of a bland, Wonderbread America, where obesity is the result of eating too much apple pie, rather than the fat & cholesterol-loaded diets associated with lower-income populations.
Maybe it's just me, but hearing these people joke about eating "too many Snickers" reminds me of watching wankers like Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott on "Meet The Press" chuckle about their youthful experiments with drugs while they push for harsher sentences for narcotics users.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
An interesting thing that I noticed about the albums I've posted is that the most-downloaded one by far has been the compilation of German Cabaret music. Needless to say, what with all the rarities and pop-culture references I've tried to incorporate into my postings, finding out that 70-year old Hun music was more in demand was a complete shock to me. Maybe it's because you kids these days have downloaded everything else, and are looking for something a little more exotic or unusual? It would certainly explain the voluminous output of: http://eldiablotuntun.blogspot.com/ .
Anyway, I'll go out on a limb and shake things up a little on Clandestine666, and post my cassette rip of Mussorgsky's Songs and Dances of Death. One of the big problems with Mussorgsky is that it's tough to tell if you're getting the authentic works of the mad, drunk Russian, or the cleaned-up versions polished over by the 19th Century's answer to Bob Rock, Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov.
These tracks sound fairly authentic, though. From the creepiness of "Song of the Flea" to the morbid beauty of "Where are you, Little Star?", it's hard to imagine Rimsky-Korsakov attaching his name to these primal tracks.
Hopefully, a few of you will enjoy this album. To get the full "Russian" effect, listen to this while trading your daughter for a case of Stoli, selling black-market copies of "Dude, Where's My Car?", and giving yourself a vodka enema.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
So it was a pretty slow month or so on this blog since the Angelwitch posting, and as much as I'd like to say I've been too busy going to parties, boinking beautiful women, or just drinking in a gutter, the simple matter is that it's just been due to laziness on my part.
BUT, the bright side is that I've dug out a few more weird tapes from various boxes I've been unpacking. I've got enough to fill the next month or so with some wild shit, so keep checking back. The sound quality will be terrible at best, but hey, why start posting good-quality recordings now?
Speaking of terrible sound quality, here's one of the most interestingly-themed music blogs I've ever seen: