Friday, May 18, 2007
Picking Up Girls Made Easy!
I have to break one of my cardinal rules about blogging: never post something somebody else has. However, this album is so damn funny, it really needs to be heard. I honestly can't remember the blog I first got it from, or I'd give the link. Seems like the number of blogs has exploded lately, so I doubt I could ever find it again.
But anyway, now that I'm single again, the techniques on this album are helping me to score every night with beautiful women! Yeah right. In the real world, trying to pick up a girl at a women's clothing store would result in anything from being escorted out by security, to getting maced. Also, it's not advisable to tell a girl you just met you're into watersports. Yes, it can be taken several different ways, but you're better off leaving this word out of your first-date vocabulary. However, if, like the girl in "The Single's Bar" track, your date confesses that she "love(s) watersports...especially ones that can be played in a bubble bath", you're in for a far wilder date than you anticipated.
All the techniques on this album range from silly to downright creepy, and the whole concept was obviously put together to bilk teens & horny losers out of their money (a task handled far more efficiently these days by the penis-enlargement industry). But, it's good for a laugh nonetheless.
If you want to date a beautiful girl, and you're not lucky enough to have a six-figure income, a 14" dick, or a nice car, just tell her you'll eat her ass. Chicks can't resist getting their asses eaten.
Remember: You CAN build up a tolerance to Mace & pepper spray. It's, like, a scientific fact.