Berlin By Night Comp

Sorry for the delay...I know I promised this two months ago. Anyway, here it is, probably the single greatest CD in my collection, a comp of German cabaret songs from the 1930s:
http://www.zshare.net/download/502557569c6d9a/

Enjoy!

The Ciccone Youth- The Whitey Album

A Madonna-obsessed side project from members of Sonic Youth and Mike Watt. A lot of weird noisy tracks, but the covers are stellar.

http://www.zshare.net/download/30622587a57fee/

SNFU- Better Than A Stick In The Eye

Fast, moderately-humorous punk rock. I got it for the song "Time to Buy A Futon", in honor of my six-month, post-marital stint on a futon. There's also an out-of-place cover of "Wild World".

http://www.zshare.net/download/3014808f1addf0/

Comic-Con 2007

I managed to get a little vacation from Sudan for a while, and travelled over to San Diego for Comic-Con. I figured I'd treat my loyal readers to some cell-phone snapshots of my adventures!

From the top:

1. The obligatory obese "Comic Book Guy". He was indeed puffing away on a cigarette as I snapped this shot.

2. There's me and a Spartan, both showing off our ripped abs.

3. Me & the only Asian chick at Comic-Con who DIDN'T look like she was 15 years old. I was apprehensive about asking all those Sailor Moon jap chicks for a photo; the last thing clandestine666 needs is "Solicitation of a Minor with Lewd Intent" on his record!

4.This Viking broad TOTALLY wanted me.

5. Me and a cute li'l Bettie Page bikini chick. Nice girl.

6. Me and a bloodsoaked zombie chick. I got a very disturbing boner standing next to her in this shot.

Here's a little supplemental reading:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28254

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30564

The Hong Kong- Rock The Faces

Damn, another band that totally should have been the next big thing, yet somehow wasn't. Picture Deborah Harry fronting The Cars, add a dash of The Sounds and The Strokes, and you get The Hong Kong. These guys had an amazing sound and unbelievable songwriting ability, yet somehow were still lost, probably due to the RIAA's self-immolating efforts to redefine itself in the wake of file-sharing and plummeting record sales.

Your dream life is such a bore:

http://www.zshare.net/download/2797424fb2172f/

Electrostatic

Electrostatic...a band that, by all rights, should've been the "next big thing". Slick production, a seemingly intuitive mastery over every manner of computer-produced sound, and an amazing Japanese singer who could out-Manson Shirley Manson with both ankles tied behind her back. Although it's not the "Awake Alone" album proper, this .rar file does contain most of the tracks from said album. Every track is outstanding, so it's difficult to recommend favorites, but check out "Replica", "Eliminate Me", and "Sand".

My ties with this band go a bit deeper than mere musical appreciation. Two of the founding members were from my original hometown of Portland, ME, and moved out to L.A. to further their music careers. While Electrostatic sadly did not go anywhere, I have no doubt that those guys are making a decent living somewhere in the film industry.

If only you could see what I've seen through YOUR eyes:

http://www.zshare.net/download/2707893a47e46f/

deathgirl.com

Arising from the ashes of darkwave staple Caelum Bliss, Detroit's deathgirl.com were one of the most accessible bands of the post-Garbage girl-band revolution. While essentially a four-piece rock & roll outfit, they peppered their recordings with plenty of crazy, NIN-inspired electronic noises. Songs like "Shake Me Down", "Daddy", and the amazing "Lucky Star" cover show the potential of this band-- there are more hooks on this one album than in Gwen Stephanie's entire discography! This is quite possibly the greatest album you'll ever hear. Download at your own risk.

As an aside, I encourage all women to follow the red-streaked hair example that lead singer Melissa Emily posits. Such a flamboyant, attention-seeking act sends forth the message that you are desperate for any sort of approval. And believe you me, I'll be right there to buy you a drink, baby.

Feels so real now, cut and feel now:

http://www.zshare.net/download/270755454615f7/

Re-Up: Picking Up Girls Made Easy!

Here it is again on zShare for my Mac-using friends. I won't go into detail as to the irony that this humble Windows user is accommodating a Mac user. C'mon, you Mac users are all young, attractive, resourceful hipsters, right? Have the Apple commercials been lying to me? If you'll excuse me, this Windows user needs to go starch his collar and prepare the cover sheets for those TPS Reports.

http://www.zshare.net/download/270670630c5755/

The Southern Death Cult

A very weird album I found from the early incarnation of Astbury/Duffy-era Cult, The Southern Death Cult. As even the liner notes declare, "Southern Death Cult disbanded before their first album...", which left this collection of demos. While it can't be rightfully classified as anything more than post-Joy Division goth-rock, it does support a fossil record of The Cult's gradual ascention from lesser Goth-Rockers to their climax as one of the greatest of all Bob Rock-produced hair metal bands (the fantastic Sonic Temple album).

One can excuse Astbury & Duffy's collaboration with former Doors' keyboardist Ray Manzarek a few years back for the ill-conceived "Doors of the 21st Century". After all, Astbury & Duffy collaborated on their first project a scant seven years after The Doors officially disbanded. In modern terms, it would be like you or I being asked by Tom Araya or Paul Bailoff to join him in his next project.

http://www.zshare.net/download/2683224e352b21/

Girlschool- Play Dirty

Hola, bros! Sorry I haven't rapped at ya in a while, but C-Dog-666 has been keeping the home fires burning, so to speak. I finally moved out of my loser "room-over-the-garage" pad into a sweet, dumpy Bukowski/Lebowski one-bedroom apartment. The peace & privacy is, expectably, delectable. Whether I want to spend an evening quietly reading Dostoyevsky, or noisily banging my Filipina secretary, I can do so without fear of reprisal or annoyance. Sweet.

But, back to business. Here's a rip of the "Play Dirty" album from the band Girlschool. Girlschool were actually a fairly prominent NWOBHM band, spending their early years duking it out riff-for-riff with such testicular contemporaries as Iron Maiden and Angelwitch. Unfortunately, they were apparently unable to maintain the energy of such early tracks as "Demolition Boys", and eventually fell by the wayside with Vixen, The Runaways, and every other girl-metal group since 1980.

This album is largely forgettable, but it does have a stellar, sax-heavy cover of T. Rex's "20th Century Boy". Believe it or not, this version actually maintains the crushing sloppiness of the original. For everyone who has had wet dreams of Joan Jett covering this song, this should be a welcomed substitute:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=IDSBO7JK

Hot Cartoon Characters

I'm oddly attracted to Agent Erin Esurance, the animated avatar of esurance.com. I KNOW it's wrong, but, just how wrong is it? Personally, I don't know anyone who can deny jerking off over Jessica Rabbit at least once. Heck, I've had dry spells in which Jem & The Holograms started to look good. This alone might be a good reason to attend this year's ComicCon; somewhere, someone in that pack of attention-starved losers will think to dye her hair pink and squeeze into a vinyl jumpsuit. While she'll doubtlessly lack the, um, accentuated proportions of the iconic Agent Erin, she will be a welcomed respite from the bevy of chubby bachelors in full Tron-regalia.

Henri Duparc

There's more great pop music on the way, but for now, I'm taking a little break and giving you, gentle reader, another offering of crazy classical music.

In this case, it is a collection of highly-accessible lieder from Henri Duparc. While Monseur Duparc suffered from a highly advanced case of Frenchiness, he had an uncanny, Schubert-esque ability to concentrate the drama that opera blokes like Mozart and Rossini purveyed down from three-hour epics into the 2-minute equivalent of a tapas bar.

Unfortunately, in spite of his genius, Duparc (in true French form) surrendered to his advancing blindness and never composed anything beyond this amazing collection of songs. Part of my dismissal of French culture is due to the fact that French contributions were virtually absent from 1450-1870, quite possibly the most fascinating stretch of years in the development of Western Music.

Granted, Frenchy was busy conquering Europe, supporting terrorist groups in The Americas, and force-feeding geese, but I think they could've taken the time to carve out a moment to promote the more sonorous qualities of their culture. Too bad, since the Germans and Italians seem to have hijacked this particular niche. It's funny how a loser like Schubert is the undisputed Master of the three-minute lieder, and guys like Duparc are relegated to websites specializing in obscure music. It's fuckin' hilarious:

http://www.zshare.net/download/24083838585b2b/

Ted Auletta- Exotica

Something I've been meaning to post for a while. A decent album full of exotica covers from '50s Vegas hanger-on Ted Auletta. Personally, I think the only thing separating Auletta from the likes of Buddy "Aces" Israel and Senator Pat Geary is 4-6 decades of pop culture references. Nonetheless, this album serves as a good introduction to Exotica. Light up the tiki torches and mix up some pina coladas!

http://www.zshare.net/download/2214051ae2b292/

Syd Straw- War and Peace

The second solo album from Syd Straw, who you may remember as the singer from the first two Golden Palominos albums. For my money, Straw was the best thing about the Palominos' early lineup, so I snatched this out of the used CD bin faster than you can say "Buenos Aires".

The material on this album is not far removed from the country/folk/garage rock of "Blast of Silence". Her backing band on this record, The Skeletons, are renowned for their raucous, loud performances, giving this CD a very raw feel that compliments Straw's energetic vocals.

This is one of those CDs that takes a few listens to fully absorb. Be patient with it. You'll be glad you did.

http://www.zshare.net/download/22089994387601/

Picking Up Girls Made Easy!

I have to break one of my cardinal rules about blogging: never post something somebody else has. However, this album is so damn funny, it really needs to be heard. I honestly can't remember the blog I first got it from, or I'd give the link. Seems like the number of blogs has exploded lately, so I doubt I could ever find it again.

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But anyway, now that I'm single again, the techniques on this album are helping me to score every night with beautiful women! Yeah right. In the real world, trying to pick up a girl at a women's clothing store would result in anything from being escorted out by security, to getting maced. Also, it's not advisable to tell a girl you just met you're into watersports. Yes, it can be taken several different ways, but you're better off leaving this word out of your first-date vocabulary. However, if, like the girl in "The Single's Bar" track, your date confesses that she "love(s) watersports...especially ones that can be played in a bubble bath", you're in for a far wilder date than you anticipated.

.

All the techniques on this album range from silly to downright creepy, and the whole concept was obviously put together to bilk teens & horny losers out of their money (a task handled far more efficiently these days by the penis-enlargement industry). But, it's good for a laugh nonetheless.

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If you want to date a beautiful girl, and you're not lucky enough to have a six-figure income, a 14" dick, or a nice car, just tell her you'll eat her ass. Chicks can't resist getting their asses eaten.

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Remember: You CAN build up a tolerance to Mace & pepper spray. It's, like, a scientific fact.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9QN6TODS

Gruntruck- Push

Gruntruck's second album. It featured much of the same metal/grunge transitionary material as the first album, but at a more extreme level...

The first track, "Tribe", has an uber-metallic, tight riff, and a chorus that could be right at home on Metallica's "Black" album. Also, "Crazy Love" and "Machine Action" have some of the most out-of-control riffs ever recorded. If only Metallica could've come up with material this brilliant, post-'91!

As far as I know, this was Gruntruck's last release. Too bad, as they apparently came up with their grunge/metal hybrid sound independant of anyone else. and have taken it to since-unexplored places. I'd like to have seen what this band was capable of in the future.

I just wanna fly my freak-flag:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=J1LLF2PC

The Royal Trux- Thank You

An album by the post-experimental/grunge band, The Royal Trux. I know next to nothing about this band, so here's the Wikipedia write-up:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Trux

That should interest a few of you, anyway. Really, from what I've heard of this album, it's very good, but I ripped it at the same time as about twenty other albums, and I've just never gotten around to giving it a good listen. My loss, right?

Granny Grunt:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FV1VL645

Gruntruck- Inside Yours

Remember 1991? We were all exhausted from doing the Unskinny Bop, Axl Rose was getting downright weird, and a little band called Nirvana was destroying the music scene from the top down.

Few survived this holocaust. Bands like Skid Row, Overkill, and Winger tried to assimilate, releasing albums full of grunged-up riffs and "angsty" vocals. But, it was all in vain: these gen-X kids had somehow acquired top-notch bullshit detectors, and each and every one of these bands was soon downgraded to club tours in Kansas, and arena shows opening for Hasselhoff in Brazil.

Somehow, though, a few bands survived the transition. Most famously, The Stone Temple Pilots made a pre-signing metamorphosis from cock-rock to grunge, and Gruntruck also managed to offer up a few legacy-securing albums in this period.

Gruntruck's debut album came in 1991, on the uber-metal label, RoadRacer. The metallic elements are obvious, with the extended guitar solos and tightly-controlled riffs. However, the wailing vocals and big, cruddy guitar sound put one foot firmly in the grunge camp.

While the few remaining grunge fanatics who aren't too busy monitoring their 401k's may not remember such grunge/metal bands as Gruntruck, The Almighty, or Prong, it is well worth reviewing those formative years of 1990-1993. It is only by learning our history that we may not be doomed to repeat it.

Boy, I still fucking hate hate Pearl Jam...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=S87BEI96

Re-re-post: The Pandoras- Rock Hard

Wow, I had no idea when I paid a quarter for this EP at the thrift store that it would be such a (relative) hit! After more requests, here it is for a third time, The Pandoras' great Rock Hard album:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HAKP86LI

The Golden Palominos- Blast of Silence

The first album from The Golden Palominos. In addition to the usual lineup of Fier/Skopelitis/Laswell, you also get Matthew Sweet, Jack Bruce, T-Bone Burnett, and my personal favorite, Syd Straw.

This album is about as far away from the apocalyptic spoken-word nightmare of the "Dead Inside" album, or even the trip-hop leanings of "Pure". Rather, this is a total country/folk/blues fest, which may be tough for the fans of the later Lori Carson or Nicole Blackman material to stomach. However, the songwriting was still outstanding back then, not to mention the musicianship. Plus, Syd Straw has numerous tracks that highlight her powerhouse vocals. Check out "Angels" and "Diamond". The latter, in particular, is Straw at her best.

Although its 192kbps, it's still a cassette rip, so a few of you uppity audiophiles out there might find the sound objectionable. In spite of this, I'd like to thank my officemate Tim for letting me borrow his classic, ca. 1988 Sony boombox to rip these cassettes. They don't make 'em like THAT any more....

A girl's best friend is a diamond, a man's best friend is a dog:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=E5X25U8S

The Cocteau Twins- The Pink Opaque

What's this??? A band that more than three people have heard of, on MY blog? Yes, I'm straying a bit from my usual concentration on the esoteric to post a recently-found cassette by my favorite band, The Cocteau Twins. This is a compilation of remixes and rare tracks, and is actually somewhat rare (one collector on Amazon is selling a copy for $100). While most of the tracks can be found on the numerous other 'Twins collections, it appears that the song "Millimillenary" is ONLY available on this album! So far, it's my favorite track on the album, and it was taken from an compilation that accompanied an issue of New Music Express magazine back in the early '80s. Of course, everything else on the album is jaw-droppingly beautiful as well, mostly comprised of classic material that was halfway between their older discordant stuff and the more-produced material of later years. There are some familiar songs here, as well: "Pearly Dewdrops Drops", "Wax and Wane", "Aikea-Guinea".

One note on my rip of this cassette: the track "Lorelei" was badly damaged, and wasn't worth ripping. Instead, I added the same track from the CD "Stars and Topsoil", so you may notice some difference in sound with this track.

Again, it's a cassette rip, so please don't bitch about the sound quality. Personally, I think it sounds fine, but if you don't like it, there's a dude on Amazon who'll be happy to help you out...

"What the hell? You can't even understand anything she's singing..."

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TNTQM2JC

Jennifer Lane/Timothy Burris- Lagrime Mie

Back into my usual maelstrom of psycho music, here's a beautiful set of Italian songs from The Renaissance/early Baroque era, performed by the amazing mezzo-soprano Jennifer Lane, and theorbist Timothy Burris.

The entire album is live recordings featuring nothing more than mezzo-soprano & theorbo, giving the album a very intimate feel. For those expecting the bouncy, nasally jigs that comprise most early music, this album will be a pleasant surprise. The songs are played in a very unrestrained rhythm, with raw, uncharacteristic emotion in the vocals. Really, most of the songs on this album are a drum machine away from being the featured track on the next Buddha Bar comp!

While Burris' contributions and restrained musicianship are stellar on this album, Lane really steals the show. An accomplished mezzo-soprano who's tackled everything from Strozzi to Schoenberg, her vocal range lends the natural emotional content for this sort of material-- while a soprano would've been far too strident and austere for material of such bare, emotional drama, her voice suits it beautifully.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VAQ2LZ5M

Psyclone Rangers- The Devil May Care

After a few out-there excursions, I'm getting back to the basics with the 1995 album by The Psyclone Rangers. Unfortunately, there's not much info available about these guys. On the one hand, they had the frenetic cerebral leanings of college music, but on the other hand, the plodding, noise-ridden track "Nazi Mother" may as well be a tribute to Soundgarden. Sorry, but I can't provide any of my usual trivia about this particular band; they, like The Almighty, Gruntruck, and The Royal Trux, seem to be a forgotten remnant of an era in which any college/alt/grunge band was virtually guaranteed a record contract.

Why The Hell Did I Die?

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7PHJKJ15

Don't Bend Over to Pick Up The Soap, Puta!!!

Too sweet. While she'll doubtlessly be in some sort of "protective custody" that will keep her from being the furburglar of some 300lb. shank-wielding dyke, I still couldn't be happier that she was unsuccesful in buying her way out of the sentence, or getting a pardon from Governor Schwarzeneggar.

But, the question: will this be turned into some Lifetime-type made-for-TV movie highlighting her "courage" and character? Or perhaps she'll finagle some manner of reality TV series out of the experience, a la "The Simple Life" (after all, how hard would it be to get Lindsay Lohan to join her behind bars for a few months...she's probably only one unpaid parking away, after all)?

Ideally, her ordeal will be turned into a hard R-rated, Jess Franco/Jack Hill-type "Women in Prison" movie, starring Paris Hilton as herself. Get that "Hostel" guy to direct, sign on Julie Strain (as The Warden), Darian Caine, and Jenny McCarthy, and we're talking boffo box-office smash!!!

Makeover

So, what do you think of the new look? Personally, I think the sickly green color brings to mind the diseased expectorate of tuberculars & lepers...perfect for my blog!

Also, please note the extended list of links on the side. While the whole point of my blog is to post crap that NOBODY is looking for (but that a few people may download & appreciate nonetheless), these blogs have served me well throughout the past year, and have opened up numerous new avenues of music appreciation. Pay them a visit!

I also just found a little store with a HUGE used tape rack (I'm talking thousands of cassettes). I'm bringing in the remainder of my old CDs in to sell for store credit next weekend, and will be taking home anywhere from 6-12 of the strangest cassettes I can find. While summer may be a time for reruns everywhere else, it's gonna be all-new episodes on clandestine666! Make sure & tune in...

Manfred Hubler & Siegfried Schwab- Sexadelic Dance Party!

Today's post is the compilation of lounge-a-delic soundtracks by classic Eurotrash composers, Hubler & Schwab. Under the name "Vampire Sound, Inc." these two krauts composed remarkably funky soundtracks for the films of horror auteur, Jess Franco.

According to the liner notes, the binding thread of this compilation is the fact that all the films featured piece-of-ass extraordinaire Soledad Miranda in starring roles. Even so, it comes off less as a tribute to Miranda than it does to the directorial antics of Franco.

Having actually seen quite a few Franco movies, I can honestly say that Vampyros Lesbos really does live up to much of the critical praise heaped upon it, although my personal favorite in his library is Female Vampire. Concurrently, Soledad Miranda was indeed a scorching piece of ass (although, again, I prefer the curvy, pert, teenaged Lina Romay of Female Vampire).

If I've piqued anyone's interest in the movies of Jess Franco, I apologize. For the most part, they are absolutely awful, but once you start watching them, you can't help but rent more of them. My love of Franco's movies is the closest I've ever come to being the victim of an abusive relationship: he constantly takes my money and leaves me battered & confused, yet I can't resist coming back for more...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OAZ1CVUV

Carlos Di Sarli- King of The Tango

Today's post is a compilation of Tangos from one of the original masters, Carlos Di Sarli.

Di Sarli is widely recognized as an extremely accessible tango artist, presenting all of the basic elements (persistant rhythm, sensual melodies, driving beat) in short, mid-tempo compositions suitable for the beginner milonguero.

While I find most of that "Dancing with The Stars" ballroom shit to be overblown melodrama, I am ceaselessly amazed by a well-executed, classic Argentine tango...the stiff, robotic upper bodies counterplayed by the mind-blowing, interlacing acrobatics of the legs & hips. When the double-time of the milonga is introduced, it looks almost superhuman. If you want to see the Tango in all of its glory, I recommend you rent Robert Duvall's great movie, "Assassination Tango". While it suffers from Duvall's girlfriend's attempts at acting, she can indeed dance up a storm. She peppers a fairly pedestrian story with numerous spicy dance numbers, and Duvall, in an almost fatherly attempt at charity, turns in a fantastic performance as an aged assassin inadvertantly propelled into a midlife crisis.

What is this? I've danced all my life, and I've never seen anything like this...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=X1ZBVI4B

No Worries

For a while there, I was starting to wonder if I had enough crazy rare shit to keep this blog going for much longer. After taking an inventory of my iTunes library (not to mention the 20+ DVD-Rs of catalogued music lying around my apartment), I can safely say that clandestine666 will be able to continue to supply your psycho/rare/OOP/random music needs for at least six more months. Huzzah! Expect a few new posts this week.

Pungent Stench- Been Caught Buttering

Today’s post is the cassette rip of one of the greatest grindcore bands ever, Pungent Stench.

With a limited understanding of English and a sense of humor that transcends linguistic barriers, Austria’s Pungent Stench pushed the limits of the already-obscene death metal vernacular. With early song titles like “Blood, Pus, and Gastric Juices” and “For God Your Soul, For Me Your Flesh”, these guys made it apparent that they were eagerly abandoning any chance of being taken seriously as artists.

Frankly, this is a refreshing attitude that is all-too-rare in Rock & Roll; one can find a similar approach in the early work of Chuck Schuldiner and his band Death, back when they were a great post-Black Metal death metal band. However, after the “Leprosy” album, I think most death metal aficionados would agree that Death had passed their prime.

This is Pungent Stench’s second album, and arguably their best. The cover “art” is the most blasphemous, obscene, horrendous shit upon which I’ve ever had the misfortune to have laid eyes, and fits perfectly with the diseased, pus-caked music within. If you can understand the lyrics at all (and trust me, the printed lyrics on the inlay card won’t help, as they are printed in an unintelligible, Beavis-esque scrawl) you will be instantly revolted. Bottom line: you would have to be insane to want to hear this abrasive, disgusting, offensive shit.

But all that aside, Pungent Stench were furious riff-mongers, churning out dozens of fantastic Sabbath-y riffs on this album. And the songs, by grindcore standards, are stellar, often containing furious hooks that you might find yourself humming hours later. The lyrics are fucking hilarious, exploring such themes as cannibalism, S&M, mother murder, and mummification with an infectious innocence that only inexperienced ESL-speakers could unearth in the tired, overused English language.

Her asshole was a fouling pit, what a hit!:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6Z143XIW

Pinetop Perkins- Live Top

A live recording from one of the true living legends of the blues, Pinetop Perkins. This was recorded in 1994 at Bowdoin College in Maine. Pinetop, now 90-something years old, continues to tour, play concerts, and accumulate numerous DUI charges. Rumour has it that he now has to wear a global satellite tracking device on his ankle to prevent him from getting behind the wheel, and his last drunk-driving excursion ended in a collision with a train (!!!). Of course, he's likely swerving his way home as I type, bottle of Early Times in one hand, a 13-year old prostitute in the other. Hey, he wouldn't be a legend if he were repentant, would he?

As a bonus, you also get one of Maine's best blues bands backing up Perkins, The Blue Flames. If you ever find yourself in Central/Southern Maine, try to catch a show from these guys. One of the best blues bands you can find, and all real swell guys.

Another cassette rip, so the sound quality is not the greatest. However, this album is loooong out-of-print, so Perkins fans shouldn't mind a little tape-hiss.

Caledonia, what makes your big head so hard?

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JC9AHJQT

kidneythieves- trickster

The long-lost debut album from industrial/electronica icons, the kidneythieves. I predict that post-Garbage electronica will be in great demand among the hipsters of the near future, so stock up on albums by Sneaker Pimps, Snake River Conspiracy, and Skindive, y'all. And while you're at it, buy deathgirl.com's album, ya wankers. It's available on iTunes, or from www.cdbaby.com.

The kidneythieves seemingly came out of nowhere, inciting little to no buzz with their debut, "Trickster". However, their next release, "zer0space" would make quite an impact on the industrial/goth crowd that NIN and Garbage had already primed. The vocals of Free Dominguez, confident and all-purpose, make the kidneythieves' music amazingly versatile. One could only hope that Dominguez agrees to provide the vocal tracks on the upcoming Snake Rver Conspiracy album (only, of course, if Toby Torres remains unavailable).

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EH3WCEEQ

Y Kant Tori Read

As a staunch heterosexual, "swingin' bachelor", it's especially tough to rationalize my adoration of Tori Amos. For some reason, owning an album from Tori Amos is much harder to justify to your friends than owning one from PJ Harvey or Joan Jett.

This album helps a great deal, though. Underneath all of her cryptic, feminist doublespeak, I always suspected Tori was a bit of a tart. It's not so much seeing her in all of her big-haired, boustiared-glory in the cover photo as it is hearing the cheesy 80's synth pop that points to a secret avenue of accessibility with the otherwise enigmatic Ms. Amos. Yes, if you have tattoos, long hair, and a penchant for wearing vinyl pants, you too could be just the sort of "enlightened male life-partner" that Tori (and every other subscriber of "Ms." magazine) is looking for!

Seriously, though, this album fills in an important piece of the puzzle that is Tori Amos. While many songwriters are struggling to figure out how to write a hit a song early in their careers, this album shows that Tori had an almost instinctive feel for it. As anyone who owns "Under The Pink" or "Choirgirl Hotel" knows, it wasn't long before Tori left traditional songwriting in the dust, and started writing insane pieces of pretty noise like "God" or "Raspberry Swirl".

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KB2S316M

Arnold Schoenberg- Pierrot Lunaire

Along the lines of my Mussorgsky post a few months back, here is one of the most unsettling, frightening recordings I've ever heard: Expressionist Arnold Schoenberg's musical travelogue of the hallucinations of an insane clown!!!!

Yes, the "lyrics" (sung in "sprechstimme" style-- a half-sung, half-spoken hybrid far scarier than anything Dr. Moreau could conceive) are all about a sinister clown's journey through various nightmarescapes. I find it very Lovecraftian, and the finest example of Schoenberg's "ugly" works (while Schoenberg's post-Wagnerian period repertoire is peerless, Serialism has yet to "do it" for me).

Once you hear it, you'll recognize its influence in countless horror movie soundtracks. But, it has thankfully remained hidden from mass recognition. Even though Bjork performed the entire cycle at the 1996 Verbiere Festival (contact me with info about bootlegs, please), it still remains a paradoxical underground work, as appreciated by classically-trained, PhD. Musicologists as it is by the latest crop of web-savvy DJs.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SR39MFUO

Roky Erickson & The Aliens- The Evil One

Roky Erickson...one of rock & roll's craziest stories. He started out as the stellar lead singer of the world's first psychedelic band, The 13th Floor Elevators, emitting screams and yowls that would make both Robert Plant and Ian Gillan run and hide. After being busted for a misdemeanor drug possession, he inexplicably pleaded insanity to the charge and spent the next few years getting his brain further fried by electroshock therapy.

Ever since, he's shown varying levels of lucidity, at times keeping it together long enough for an Elevators reunion album, at other times retreating for years on end into his Texas home, playing a half-dozen stereos and TVs simultaneously in order to drown out the demon voices in his head.

"The Evil One" is Erickson at his most anxious & paranoid, with sci-fi themes spilling over into the philosophical/biblical realms ("Sputnik" and "Creature with the Atom Brain"), and plenty of Satan-praising ("The Wind and More"). What separates Erickson from such devil-worshipping dilettantes as Danzig and Black Sabbath is his hesitant, yet almost defeatist attitude toward Satan's supremacy, as if he's witnessed The Power of Evil firsthand and is coming to grips with the fact that resistance is futile.

It's times like this Lucifer, I see you're infinite:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1IWQTFSW

The Freeze

One of the better bands from the Taang! label. As far as I know, this was their only release of any significance, but boy, what a release! The Freeze had a great sound that was halfway between Hanoi Rocks, The Ramones, and Ratt (indeed, the singer's resemblance to Stephen Pearcy's growl is uncanny). This album managed to accomplish the task that G&R's "The Spaghetti Incident?" failed so miserably: a perfect reconciliation of punk's iconoclasm with rock & roll's hegemenous cock-worship.

I caught myself in little white lies, powder, rock, and pills:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QF7YXT0K

The Golden Palominos- Visions of Excess

A recently-acquired cassette from the 80s' premier alt-rock collective. This is the GoPals 2nd album, and features some really outstanding vocal work from, of all people, Michael Stipe. Songs like "Omaha" and "Boy (Go)" almost make up for all the whining horseshit REM put out in the early 90's. There's also some excellent work from Jack Bruce and John Lydon, but the tracks from Syd Straw are really the centerpieces. "Buenos Aires" in particular showcases the driving rhythmic machine & female vocals that would define later masterpiece GoPals albums like "Pure" or "This is How it Feels".

She got a letter postmarked from Argentina:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=2TWOFX3Z

Latina Ass

Second comp. Much like the previous one, except it features chicks singing in Spanish and/or Portugese. It's really a shame that singing in English is an implicit prerequisite for success in in America's music biz; really, does "Hollaback Girl" or "My Humps" make any more sense than "Ante Tus Ojos"? But I shouldn't complain, since the American music industry would undoubtedly produce just as much crap in Spanish as it currently does in English if that were the case. Such a musical version of NAFTA would just be another way to exploit Spanish-speaking cultures.

Funny thing, the words "Latina Ass" actually served as one of the nails in the coffin of my marriage. As anyone who uses Limewire knows, past searches are stored and matched with new searches typed in. Kind of a convenient "Quick Search" option. For example, if you have a history of searching for "Yul Brynner" and you type "Yu" into the search engine, "Yul Brynner" will pop up, even if you intend to search for "Yuletide Carols".

Well, suffice it to say, I WASN'T spending hours on the computer searching for Yul Brynner or Yuletide Carols. One night my wife figured out how to work Limewire, and decided to search for some Liz Phair songs. As soon as she typed in the letter "L", a whole list of filth sprang up, starting with "Latina Ass" and ending with "Lesbians, Strapon". She spent the rest of the evening in this manner, making a systematic, alphabetical catalogue of reasons to be disgusted by me. That was NOT a fun weekend.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZM4ILFME

Wow! Sexy French Girls!

Here's the first of a couple of comps I'm throwing out there while I try to figure out whether or not these tapes are too far gone to be worth ripping...this Hagar, Schon, Aaronson, & Schrieve Through The Fire tape sounds like it's being played through cotton candy-stuffed speakers.

But anyway, as the title implies, here's a mix of songs featuring chicks singing in French. Funny thing is, I dislike just about everything French. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those Bill O'Reilly "Freedom Fries" douchebags, but I hate French art, cuisine, wine, and movies to no end. I actually walked out on "Rules of the Game" at my local art theatre because it was so gawd-awful boring.

In spite of this, I find French to be the greatest language for singing by far, and some of the best music ever has been sung in French. The songs on this comp range from the 14th-Century (Guillaume da Machaut) up to 2006 (The Prototypes), with a concentration on the 1960's ye-ye pop movement.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=J1SD0WH1

Kurt Russell

From East Coast milquetoast to Eastwood Badass, he's played it all. Personally, I admire him for the suit he wore in "Used Cars", but if you need more evidence that he is the greatest actor of our generation, consider:
-Breakdown
-Escape from LA
-Tombstone
-Unlawful Entry
-Tequila Sunrise
-Big Trouble in Little China
-The Thing
-Escape from New York

If the game happens to be rained-out some saturday afternoon, it's likely that some Kurt Russell movie will be shown instead. That kinda makes Kurt your loser buddy that'll come over and get drunk with you when all other options have been exhausted. Even in my lowest, drunkest moments, I've always been able to count on the fact that somewhere, on some channel, "Stargate" will likely be playing.

More music coming soon...

The Flanders Diet

Weight Loss from a Biblical perspective! The Ten Commandments of Dieting! Actually, if you take all the god crap out of this, it's really not bad dieting advice: eat breakfast, drink plenty of water, get lots of fiber, etc. However, Dobson and his guests are without a doubt the most teeth-grindingly annoying, folksy crackers this side of Colorado Springs. They politely chuckle as they rib one another about whose mom made the best fried chicken, those extra five pounds they gained over Thanksgiving, etc. It's basically a microcosm of Dobson's ideal vision of a bland, Wonderbread America, where obesity is the result of eating too much apple pie, rather than the fat & cholesterol-loaded diets associated with lower-income populations.

Maybe it's just me, but hearing these people joke about eating "too many Snickers" reminds me of watching wankers like Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott on "Meet The Press" chuckle about their youthful experiments with drugs while they push for harsher sentences for narcotics users.


http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8XLF63LQ

Mussorgsky- Songs & Dances of Death

An interesting thing that I noticed about the albums I've posted is that the most-downloaded one by far has been the compilation of German Cabaret music. Needless to say, what with all the rarities and pop-culture references I've tried to incorporate into my postings, finding out that 70-year old Hun music was more in demand was a complete shock to me. Maybe it's because you kids these days have downloaded everything else, and are looking for something a little more exotic or unusual? It would certainly explain the voluminous output of: http://eldiablotuntun.blogspot.com/ .

Anyway, I'll go out on a limb and shake things up a little on Clandestine666, and post my cassette rip of Mussorgsky's Songs and Dances of Death. One of the big problems with Mussorgsky is that it's tough to tell if you're getting the authentic works of the mad, drunk Russian, or the cleaned-up versions polished over by the 19th Century's answer to Bob Rock, Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

These tracks sound fairly authentic, though. From the creepiness of "Song of the Flea" to the morbid beauty of "Where are you, Little Star?", it's hard to imagine Rimsky-Korsakov attaching his name to these primal tracks.

Hopefully, a few of you will enjoy this album. To get the full "Russian" effect, listen to this while trading your daughter for a case of Stoli, selling black-market copies of "Dude, Where's My Car?", and giving yourself a vodka enema.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XQIS9IXI

Not Dead Yet

So it was a pretty slow month or so on this blog since the Angelwitch posting, and as much as I'd like to say I've been too busy going to parties, boinking beautiful women, or just drinking in a gutter, the simple matter is that it's just been due to laziness on my part.
BUT, the bright side is that I've dug out a few more weird tapes from various boxes I've been unpacking. I've got enough to fill the next month or so with some wild shit, so keep checking back. The sound quality will be terrible at best, but hey, why start posting good-quality recordings now?
Speaking of terrible sound quality, here's one of the most interestingly-themed music blogs I've ever seen:
http://thirdfloormusic.blogspot.com/