Latina Ass

Second comp. Much like the previous one, except it features chicks singing in Spanish and/or Portugese. It's really a shame that singing in English is an implicit prerequisite for success in in America's music biz; really, does "Hollaback Girl" or "My Humps" make any more sense than "Ante Tus Ojos"? But I shouldn't complain, since the American music industry would undoubtedly produce just as much crap in Spanish as it currently does in English if that were the case. Such a musical version of NAFTA would just be another way to exploit Spanish-speaking cultures.

Funny thing, the words "Latina Ass" actually served as one of the nails in the coffin of my marriage. As anyone who uses Limewire knows, past searches are stored and matched with new searches typed in. Kind of a convenient "Quick Search" option. For example, if you have a history of searching for "Yul Brynner" and you type "Yu" into the search engine, "Yul Brynner" will pop up, even if you intend to search for "Yuletide Carols".

Well, suffice it to say, I WASN'T spending hours on the computer searching for Yul Brynner or Yuletide Carols. One night my wife figured out how to work Limewire, and decided to search for some Liz Phair songs. As soon as she typed in the letter "L", a whole list of filth sprang up, starting with "Latina Ass" and ending with "Lesbians, Strapon". She spent the rest of the evening in this manner, making a systematic, alphabetical catalogue of reasons to be disgusted by me. That was NOT a fun weekend.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZM4ILFME

Wow! Sexy French Girls!

Here's the first of a couple of comps I'm throwing out there while I try to figure out whether or not these tapes are too far gone to be worth ripping...this Hagar, Schon, Aaronson, & Schrieve Through The Fire tape sounds like it's being played through cotton candy-stuffed speakers.

But anyway, as the title implies, here's a mix of songs featuring chicks singing in French. Funny thing is, I dislike just about everything French. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those Bill O'Reilly "Freedom Fries" douchebags, but I hate French art, cuisine, wine, and movies to no end. I actually walked out on "Rules of the Game" at my local art theatre because it was so gawd-awful boring.

In spite of this, I find French to be the greatest language for singing by far, and some of the best music ever has been sung in French. The songs on this comp range from the 14th-Century (Guillaume da Machaut) up to 2006 (The Prototypes), with a concentration on the 1960's ye-ye pop movement.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=J1SD0WH1

Kurt Russell

From East Coast milquetoast to Eastwood Badass, he's played it all. Personally, I admire him for the suit he wore in "Used Cars", but if you need more evidence that he is the greatest actor of our generation, consider:
-Breakdown
-Escape from LA
-Tombstone
-Unlawful Entry
-Tequila Sunrise
-Big Trouble in Little China
-The Thing
-Escape from New York

If the game happens to be rained-out some saturday afternoon, it's likely that some Kurt Russell movie will be shown instead. That kinda makes Kurt your loser buddy that'll come over and get drunk with you when all other options have been exhausted. Even in my lowest, drunkest moments, I've always been able to count on the fact that somewhere, on some channel, "Stargate" will likely be playing.

More music coming soon...

The Flanders Diet

Weight Loss from a Biblical perspective! The Ten Commandments of Dieting! Actually, if you take all the god crap out of this, it's really not bad dieting advice: eat breakfast, drink plenty of water, get lots of fiber, etc. However, Dobson and his guests are without a doubt the most teeth-grindingly annoying, folksy crackers this side of Colorado Springs. They politely chuckle as they rib one another about whose mom made the best fried chicken, those extra five pounds they gained over Thanksgiving, etc. It's basically a microcosm of Dobson's ideal vision of a bland, Wonderbread America, where obesity is the result of eating too much apple pie, rather than the fat & cholesterol-loaded diets associated with lower-income populations.

Maybe it's just me, but hearing these people joke about eating "too many Snickers" reminds me of watching wankers like Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott on "Meet The Press" chuckle about their youthful experiments with drugs while they push for harsher sentences for narcotics users.


http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8XLF63LQ

Mussorgsky- Songs & Dances of Death

An interesting thing that I noticed about the albums I've posted is that the most-downloaded one by far has been the compilation of German Cabaret music. Needless to say, what with all the rarities and pop-culture references I've tried to incorporate into my postings, finding out that 70-year old Hun music was more in demand was a complete shock to me. Maybe it's because you kids these days have downloaded everything else, and are looking for something a little more exotic or unusual? It would certainly explain the voluminous output of: http://eldiablotuntun.blogspot.com/ .

Anyway, I'll go out on a limb and shake things up a little on Clandestine666, and post my cassette rip of Mussorgsky's Songs and Dances of Death. One of the big problems with Mussorgsky is that it's tough to tell if you're getting the authentic works of the mad, drunk Russian, or the cleaned-up versions polished over by the 19th Century's answer to Bob Rock, Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

These tracks sound fairly authentic, though. From the creepiness of "Song of the Flea" to the morbid beauty of "Where are you, Little Star?", it's hard to imagine Rimsky-Korsakov attaching his name to these primal tracks.

Hopefully, a few of you will enjoy this album. To get the full "Russian" effect, listen to this while trading your daughter for a case of Stoli, selling black-market copies of "Dude, Where's My Car?", and giving yourself a vodka enema.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XQIS9IXI